Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Fear of Rejection . . . .

Please don't read any more of this post. No, seriously.

Why are you still reading? I dont' want you too--you may comment something that hurts my feelings.

OK, I want you to keep reading. But you understand where I'm coming from???

(On a side note, if you don't like personal, dont' read--seriously. because I may be a little personal and share my heart here a bit. But if you want to know more about me, read on.)

 In doctrines today, we were talking about the Passover, and how Jesus Christ completed every single set of sacrifices. Don't ask me to explain how--I zoned out and started thinking about other things. Still sort of related to class (in that, I was still thinking about Jesus Christ), but unrelated to Passover. I was thinking about the verse, John 1:11--"And He came unto His own, and His own received Him not." So, I totally wasn't paying attention, but I came to some interesting conclusions. And you may not agree, or I may be totally wrong (and please, feel free to tell me so--I may feel free to ignore you :D )

So often, we as Christians worry WAY to much about what people think of us. Oh, we will deny it vehemently. And we don't often see it manifested in our lives. It is sometimes very cleverly disguised. In my life, I worry about letting people down. I think that people have really high expectations of me, and therefore, I can't disappoint them. I fear failure. And what people will think of me if I fail. Therefore, I kill myself to be able to do whatever it is people ask, and do it well. My friends keep telling me it is OK to say no, but I have a hard time believing them. Because I worry what people will think. I can't fail. And saying no is failure. At least in my mind.

How does this come across in your life? It may be, like me, fear of failure--saying yes to everything and over-extending yourself so as not to hurt other people. It may be not even trying, because people may think less of you if you mess up. You assume people can do it better. Maybe it's not talking to that guy because people will assume you are dating. Maybe it's not asking that girl out because you think she may say no and hurt your ego. Maybe you are like my friend who had to ask us to check with her to see how she's doing with thinking constantly about how people view her (she's beautiful, but worry that she doesn't look good enough.) In different people, fear of others shows up differently.

You know the verse, I John 2:16? "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world."The pride of the life? Worrying what people think about you? Even if you don't think about it, is it in your life? Where? How does it manifest  itself? And what can you do about it? God tells us to put all our cares on him (I Peter 5:7). So, when you worry about what people think, or you are scared that you may let people down, or you are afraid of rejection, give it to God. When you think that everyone's looking at you and judging you, 2 things. 1. They probably aren't--no one notices (except your best friends) when you do something stupid or everything seems to be going wrong. And if they do notice, they probably won't remember.
2. Even if they are looking, if you can laugh it off, so will everyone else. if you act all embarrassed, they will probably also act all awkward. Just FYI . . .

Remember, that Jesus was rejected by his own family. The religious leaders of His day tried to kill Him (and eventually succeeded). His countrymen hated Him. His disciples warned Him about going to certain parts of the country because people there had tried to kill Him. As Christians, we are called to be like Jesus Christ. I don't mean go out and get your pastor so angry He tries to kill you. At the same time, some people aren't going to like what you are doing. We can't please everyone. And if you are so worried about making everyone happy, you are in for some hard knocks along the way.

So give it to God. Trust in Him. And don't fear rejection. It is going to come. But dont' let it stop you from serving Christ. . . .